i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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