You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize