you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
