You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
did i just pee glitter
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
