Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
