I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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