I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
This house was built for laser tag.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
