I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
