can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
