Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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