Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
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