yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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