return my video game
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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