6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize
