Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
