She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
