I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
