bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
