just tell him i said nine months
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
