Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
