I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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