He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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