Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
