A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Still dying that you shit outside
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
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