So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
