smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Randomize
