you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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