You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
