First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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