White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
