hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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