Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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