i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
