Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
