Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
