we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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