I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
