Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
