just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
