my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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