You're completely useless in the revolution.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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