So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
