at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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