No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
