No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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