u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Nicole vs. Life
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
