You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
