There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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