Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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