New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
