We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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