it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
